Oh 2012…

I know we still have a little under a month left, but I’m already thinking about the end of 2012. Recently I had a friend write me a very encouraging note and in it she said, “I know you’ve had a hard year…” This is where I’m funny. I hadn’t thought of this year as hard until she said it. I went, “It has been a hard year!” Oh believe me, I know people have had plenty harder years than mine…even I have had harder years than this one, but this has been one long, challenging year.

I guess I didn’t recognize it because so much of this year has been done with very little knowledge of where my life would be in the next month. I was concentrating on what was possibly next instead of reflecting on what was currently going on. The year started off very up in the air. Because of a trip to New York in early March a lot of life (like finding a new job) was on hold until the trip was over. And as soon as NY was over there was a great opportunity to cast a sizzle reel for a game show. That one was fun. But then came the game show casting of too long hours, unnecessary stress, and a horrible boss. The five months on that were purely survival. And now I’m ending the year with grad school applications and health concerns. And I’m ending the year where I started it, uncertain of what is next.

So I guess it was a hard year, but let me be clear, I am not complaining. You can state something to be hard without whining about it. Without the hard year I still wouldn’t have career direction, I never would’ve applied for grad school, and my health would still be a mess. And through hardships my reliance on God becomes stronger. And while I’m once again where I was when I started the year, I’m thankful to be in this place. In fact, I’m actually the weirdo that loves being in this place where I’m at the end of myself and get to see what God will do. Who knows what adventure is next?